Buffboy and Alona Cruise
the Caribbean
The Buffboy and Alona cruise vacation of a lifetime is about to begin. Our beautiful tour guide, Alona, will keep us up-to-date on their week long party extravaganza aboard the luxury cruise liner... The Freedom of the Seas!
Buffboy's only job is to look pretty. We hear he'll be debuting a brand new pair of Georgio Armani, hot pink, barely there swimming trunks in the solarium on Tuesday afternoon. 50 cents to the first person who captures and sends that photo to me. P.S. Anyone who has a weak stomach better wear sunglasses.
DAY ONE - Flying to Miami
Okay, so I think the couple has already given me the shaft. We'll have to wait and see. I was planning to track their flight via flytecomm.com. Turns out there was no Delta flight from Cincinnati to Miami at 8:55 this morning. Where the heck are those two? Oh wait... I think I see them now...
... only thing wrong with this picture is it's 1:15 pm and I live in Canada. What happened to Delta flight #5395 and why is Buffboy flying the plane? I'll have to see if I can track these two down on IM or TM or a full-fledged all points bulletin...
Till then, no news... except for possible rumors of a
shipboard romance...
DAY ONE UPDATE - Missing Couple Found
It's a miracle!!!
I have no idea how, but Buffboy (aka Captain Jim) and his darling, Alona, have arrived in Miami, Florida. What happened and how they got there is still a mystery. It's difficult to get any information out of Captain Jim in his current condition...
Alona claims the Delta flight left and arrived on schedule, but I'm not convinced...
There is evidence, however, that Buffboy and Alona have been in South Beach for several hours...
... all the more reason to wonder what has driven Captain Jim to make a local restaurant his choice of sleeping accomodations...
DAY TWO - Boarding the Ship
Don't get too excited anyone... nothing but a short telegram from Captain Jim today...
it's 9:20 am... stop... leaving to board the ship... stop... ship sets sail at 4:30 pm... stop... meeting onboard with all SBIers at 5 pm... stop... ttyl... Jim
Talk to you later? What? Are you kidding me? It's already 3 am on Day 3... What exactly does later mean in cruise vacation time?
All I can say is that must have been some shipboard SBI party...
DAY TWO - The Movie
  Create Your Own
DAY THREE - Living in Luxury
The pampered couple awoke to breakfast in bed this morning served by the amazing Freedom staff. A quick check of the T.V. tracker channel indicated they were nearing Cuba. How exciting!!!
There's an SBI seminar scheduled for 10 am this morning... Erwin's planning on teaching SBIers how to use a broom... I might not have that quite right... but hey, I'm sure the Freedom crew will be happy about the extra cleaning staff.
Debs is speaking at 2 pm, but her topic is top secret... how do you top broom lessons anyway?
Guess we'll have to wait for an update... later...
DAY THREE UPDATE - All Hail the Little Canadian Wonder Woman
Boy was I wrong about Erwin and the broom. I have no clue what happened to Erwin's seminar, but one little lady certainly made a stir at today's conference...
(Please note: I am free to make up any story I like with the pictures that are sent to me - lol - the participants can clear up any discrepancies when they return.. till then... all's fair...)
Tomorrow Jim, Alona and several other SBIers are heading out to explore Labadee, Haiti. I'm pretty sure someone mentioned parasailing... that's should make for some interesting news... Look out for falling dentures...
BREAKING NEWS: Photos and information about
Shelly and Shelldon's shipboard romance
are just coming in... but that's a story for tomorrow... it's 2:30 am here and this reporter needs to hit the sheets.. goodnight...
DAY FOUR - Pretty in Pink?
I know you've all been waiting with baited breath to see if anyone would capture Jim in his hot pink bathing briefs... well we have a WINNER... one lucky SBIer just won 50 Canadian cents... behold...
Captain Jim...
Alright... enough of that nonsense... on to the latest telegraph from Geoff... ... enjoyed a fine evening of Italian dining ... stop ... followed by a great impressionist, vocalist and more ... stop ... will be dancing in the streets to the music of the 70's starting about 11 pm. ... stop ... have to run and take a nap first ... stop ... Carla has moved tomorrow morning's seminar start time to 8 am ... HEY wait a minute ... 8 am??? ... that's criminal :-) ... more tomorrow ... Geoff also sent this gorgeous picture of Freedom heading to shore at Labadee, Haiti...
I'm sure you're wondering how Geoff was able to get such a great shot... truth is... he jumped overboard an hour before and swam like a sailfish to beat Freedom to shore... now that's a great Canadian hero... he did all this to make sure that we would be able to experience the wonder of that majestic ship heading into shore too... what a guy...That said... our hero spent the rest of the day recuperating on a beach chair, under a palm tree on a Labadee beach... Where is buffboy when you need him? Geoff needs a tall cool glass of lemonade with a twist...
View from Geoff's Lounge Chair
... and speaking of Buffboy... I haven't seen or heard from him and his lovely girl in almost 20 hours... where on earth are those two? I've lost them again... Thank God there's more than one reporter aboard the Freedom that can help keep us up-to-date... I'm signing out till someone else checks in... sleep tight...
ATTENTION BUFFBOY FANS!!! First of all... thanks for all the fan mail. Buffboy is flattered that so many of you loved his sizzling hot swimsuit photo, but sorry I am not able to send you the rest of that photo. I signed an agreement with my client that only allows me to show three inches below the belly button and up. I was told that for $10,000 the lower half of the photo is up for grabs. If you're interested, send me an email and I'll forward my paypal address... till then...
...maybe the equally anticipated photo of Erwin in his cocktail dress will do... I have no idea how he got his hands on Debs' tiara, but I'd sure like to know what they were serving at that party the other night...
DAY FOUR UPDATE - Alona Conquers the Dragon
I finally managed to track down our lost couple AGAIN. Man those two are slippery... Apparently Alona braved the mighty Dragon's flight and descended 500 feet through the air on only a cable... oh my word... no wonder we didn't hear from the poor girl yesterday... her knees are probably STILL knocking, but at least she managed to get her fingers steady enough to send some new photos my way today... Oh... you're probably wondering where Buffboy was during all that drama... he was under a palm tree sipping on coconut juice... he has to save his strength for more taxing things like posing and flexing and signing autographs for the locals. When he gets back, be sure to ask him about his new tattoo... P.S. Alona's new photos will be posted soon; I'm processing them right now as we speak, but it's getting a little late over here in the great white North and... well... here's hoping I can keep my eyes open long enough to post them tonight...
DAY FIVE - Geoff and Erwin Tour Ochos Rios More details tomorrow, but till then...
Journalist Disclaimer: Any stereotyping of the Dutch is solely based on the fact that this reporter is herself of Dutch descent. We all know that in fact... if you're not Dutch, you're not much!
(Drum Roll) After 18 hours of research and editing,
"Alona Conquers the Dragon"
is now playing as a full color slide show. Better late than never...
DAY SIX - Hell on Earth
We'll keep you posted, but early reports coming in suggest that SBIers went to hell today... more later...
Okay, I was just notified that not ALL SBIers went to HELL today. Apparently some thought HELL would be just a little too hot for their liking. They chose instead to chug beer and dine on seafood under an umbrella on the waterfront. Geoff informed me that there are rumors afloat that both Don Coggan and his wife were seen kissing sting rays and enjoying every smack of it. Oh my word... are they crazzzzy! In that case I think I would have opted for HELL. Anyway, Geoff also added that they are quite soft when you hold them. Who's quite soft? The sting rays or Don and his wife? And for that matter how does Geoff know that Don and his wife are quite soft when you hold them? I seriously need to book a flight and get down there to see what's going on... (Note: We have yet to confirm Geoff's information so keep it under your hat because... hey... we run a reputable publication here... we publish the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - lol).
...while we wait for
NEWS from HELL
, I think a little trivia is in order. There are about 50-60 SBI personalities aboard the Freedom of the Seas. For honorable mention on this page, be the first person to submit the form below with the correct answer to... What cruising SBI personality has Troy the waiter wrapped around her little finger, was able to coax three chocolate desserts from him when everyone else only got one, AND described the chocolate treat he offered as 'life changing'?
Special thanks to Geoff from
50plus-fitness-walking.com
for the above noted insider trivia and these
interesting cruise tidbits.
FINALLY... after sifting through 150 pictures and working through the night to try and piece together the events of the day, I am ready to present to you (drum roll, please) Jim and Alona's
Day in HELL!
DAY SEVEN - What Happens in Cozumel Stays in Cozumel
Geoff has just reported to me on finding the hottest MUST GO party place in Cozumel. After hitching an exciting taxi ride into town... with a mission to eat, drink, and party... Geoff and gang found themselves at the door of
Carlos' and Charlie's.
Talk about extreme fun... this place has it all... great food, colorful surroundings, and friendly staff who are laughing all the time, getting line dances going, pouring tequila down your throat as you dance around the room...
One little lady in their party handled a very substantial margarita with pizzazz. Mind you... she IS sleeping now... it's an ABSOLUTE MUST if she even hopes to be energized again before dinner. Another rough night ahead for those wild and crazy SBI cruisers.
We all feel very sorry for you back here... NOT!
Oh.... this is interesting... The forum moderators put on a Q&A session today. Cool!
Geoff says they received richly deserved accolades. What the heck are those... some kind of exotic Jamaican party drinks?
Supposedly Jim has arranged to take some group photos tomorrow... all I can say to that is...
Where's my photo of Debs and Audrey on the Flowrider? ... AAAAND... what the heck happened to Shelly? I've seen pictures of Shelldon consulting with a shrink (poor tortoise - women are so hard to understand), but Shelly's been AWOL for several days. I hope you guys aren't withholding information from me. You know what the say..."What happens in _____, stays in ______."
Okay... off to sort through Alona's next 100 plus photos with no tags or descriptions. It's a wonder I can even come up with a story that sounds believable and still maintain my highly esteemed reputation as an SBI vacation journalist. Thanks Alona... no really... THANKS!
Still sifting through Alona's Cozumel photos... One thing's for sure though... if Debs thinks I'm going to fall for believing that this is a photo of her on the flowrider...
... then she's had a few too many glasses of champagne. Where are my on sight reporters and how on earth did they let her get away with skipping the surf ride? To the reporter who messed up this assignment, I have to say... YOU'RE FIRED!
Well, at least Buffboy delivered on my request for a romantic dance photo of him and Alona on the deck of the ship. You'd never know that Jim doesn't dance in real life...
Way to go Captain Jim! Can't wait to hear what it took to bring that pic to fruition.I'm told by several sources that after the dancing it was party, party, party for SBIers. Rum punch, margaritas, and exotic Caribbean cocktails flowed into the wee hours of the morning. I'm not at liberty to share any specific information, but you might want to ask Debs what she was doing in that pool at 2 in the morning, especially since it was gated and closed at midnight. I don't expect to hear much from our cruising SBIers now... I'm sure it will take them at least a day to detoxify and then, of course, there's the debriefing process they have to go through in order to enter the real world again... back to sorting through the Cozumel photos...
DAY EIGHT - Homeward Bound
Good News... Our SBI friends are on their way home... yes, it's true... I can hardly believe they've been gone for a whole week already. They disembark in Miami at around 9 am tomorrow morning. Geoff managed to get a short telegram to me... Communication from here on out will be minimal... stop... SBIers are worn out from all the fun... stop... besides that, most of us are running out of prepaid internet minutes... stop... the ship's staff herds 4000 of us out in three hours tomorrow morning plus luggage... stop... SBIers are in their rooms packing and waiting for the cattle call... stop... we all have great stories and photos to share when we get back... stop... talk to you when it doesn't cost so much... Geoff
SBI CRUISERS... Their true stories appearing soon at
www.sbi-cruise.com.
THANKS FOR SHARING THIS ADVENTURE WITH US!
It is 3:27 pm on Sunday, January 27. Jim and Alona are, as we speak, flying over the state of Georgia at an altitude of 33,000 feet and a speed of 374 miles an hour. They have 1 hour and 22 minutes of flight time remaining and are scheduled to arrive in Cincinnati, Ohio at 4:49 pm. 33,000 feet? OMG! Jim's afraid of heights? Who managed to strap that boy into a metal cage destined for the stratosphere anyway?
Estimated time before we can expect to see Jim pop back into the forums... 4 hours and 22 minutes...
Buffboy and Alona Cruise Updates, Comments, and Questions
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Cruise Gossip and Fun
Click below to see cruise gossip and fun information from other visitors to this page...
Alona Conquers the Dragon
More Tidbits As We Wait For The Big Bird
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Finally got some speed on the old net and waiting for Air Canada to show up.
One tidbit overlooked was the aftermath of the Don and Huggy kissing the ...
News From HELL
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Yes, it's true what they say... it's hot in HELL... so hot in fact, that many SBIers opted to sit out a trip to Hell. Thank God for that. Jim, Alona,...
Geoff's Interesting Cruise Tidbits
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Did You Know?
The chefs parade through the dining room - all 80+ of them during the meal.
The ship goes through 140 tons of food for each cruise ...
View from Geoff's Lounge Chair
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Could life get any better than this?
Here we are lounging on a warm sandy beach with palm trees swaying overhead, and the tropical ...
Buffboy in Haiti
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... now don't be disappointed... we couldn't show the entire picture... it was imperative that we leave some room for the imagination and entice you to ...
Brooming
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Hi, Erwin here from the 'Freedom of the Seas'!
My seminar was switched with the lovely Audrey, as I didn't feel well the last few days. On Wednesday ...
Quick Pre-board Update
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Yes, A'Lona and I made it fine yesterday. We were getting worried about Erwin and about Audrey, as it was getting late last night. But they did show up....
Seafood Anyone?
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Speaking from someone who knows... the Delta flight left and arrived as scheduled.
I have no idea why Wendy could not find the flight. I'm sure the ...
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